Sebastian's story
by divergentdinosaur
Summary: I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Especially not rape! People think I'm just insane, mental, they don't know my story. They don't know what happened to me in the year I was missing. The don't know what slowly drove me insane. They don't know anything. Modern day Sequel to I still love you but doesn't need to be read to understand...
1. Chapter 1

An/ Hey guys, I'm back, you probably know me for my story "I still love you" but if not welcome! This is like a companion/sequel to my story " I still love you" I suggest you read it before you begin this. If you decide not to here's a little summary of the things you'll need to know for this story.

This a modern day story as well

**While Clary is in college Sebastian attacks and rapes her a few times. She is too afraid to go to the police. Later Clary and Jace become actors and get back together after their breakup in high school. Sebastian is put in a movie with them. Clary is urged by Jace To finally tell the police after Sebastian hits him purposely with his car. Sebastian is taken to court and Clary and Jace win. He gets angry and assaults the judge. After he is pulled off the judge and Jace, Sebastian is sentenced to life in prison. **

**As the story begins he is arriving in Jail**

I hope you enjoy!

I DO NOT OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS!

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Sebastian's story

**How, how did I suddenly become a rapist. How did i go from the kind guy I was in elementary and part of high school, to sitting in a gross jail cell. People think I'm just insane of mental, they don't know my story. They don't know what happened to me in the year I was missing. The don't know what slowly drove me insane. They don't know anything. I tried to ignore my thoughts. I tried to be normal. But how can you run from what's inside you?**

The policeman pushed me into a small disgustingly dirty cell. The once white paint was chipping off the grime covered wall. In the corner of the "room" was a set of bunk beds. A male, most likely in his late twenties, sat on the top bed. He had brown hair and dark eyes. "Whatca in for?" He asked me jumping down from the top of the bunk that he was perched on. "Oh, sorry. I'm Meliorn." He added and stuck his hand out.

"Sebastian." I replied sharply and cautiously shook his hand.

"So, why are you in this dump?" He pried and kicked the wall as he said "dump".

"Do you really want to know?" I questioned and he nodded. "I raped a girl and hit her boyfriend with a truck. Then when they took me to court they won and I assaulted the judge." I sighed and he smirked. "Well, what are you here for?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"I robbed a few stores, dealt out some drugs, hurt a few people, then I got caught. I never really liked what I was doing but, I mean I needed some money." I shrugged. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you rape her?"

"It's quite a long story." I tried to steer him away from the topic of my past.

"I've got fifteen years left in here kid, I have time."

"I wasn't always like this. I had a bright future. I had dreams. When I was younger I was the "it" guy. I had good grades, I was handsome, I was on the football team, and I was nice. I really never meant to hurt anyone but I don't know what would come over me. It'd just be like I'd become a cold ruthless rapist in a second and not be able to control it."

"What happened to me. Why did I throw away my future? Why me."

"It started in tenth grade. I was walking home from football practice. I had a massive crush on a girl named Clary, whom I'd soon become a nightmare towards. I could have chosen anyones life to ruin but I chose hers. She was a quiet artist, who I don't even think she knew my last name. She was sitting drawing in a park close to my house under a tree with blue headphones in her ears. I was trying to gather up the courage to go to her when someone grabbed me. I screamed, I yelled for help, I yelled her name. She didn't hear me. By the time she even looked up I had been dragged into a black van. I was kidnapped. And Clary could've saved me, if she just took her eyes off what she was drawing for one moment, she could've saved me. She could've saved herself from the monster I became." I took a shuddering breath and continued. "A man named Valentine captured me, stole me from my perfect life. He tortured me, every single day."

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_"This is for your own good." He said and took the hot fire poker and pressed it to my back. I bit my lip and cringed, trying to get away. He took the poker off for a second, only to raise it up and bring it down hard on my back. "Don't try to escape!" He yelled and kicked me in the ribs. He took his belt off and lashed it at my bare back. I don't know how long it was before he stopped whipping me, kicked me in the ribs before trudging away. "Get up you scum, go get your shirt on, and clean this blood up!"_

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_" You can call me father." He sneered and when I gave him a confused look he chuckled. "You really don't know do you son? You were adopted. And guess who's child you were? You were a mistake. You are the reason your mother and I split up. She took you because she didn't trust me. But she couldn't look at you. So she put you up for adoption without telling me. YOU RUINED MY FREAKING LIFE!" A tear started to trickle down my cheek. He reached towards me and slapped me hard in the face. "See you're just like your mother. Weak and defenceless!" He screamed at me and I flinched back. "Stupid. Pathetic. Coward." He spat, and threw me to the ground._

_"That's a lie. You're the coward!"_

_"Don't talk back to me boy! You're a little pathetic lair, just like your mother." He roared in anger. He stomped on my knee, bending it in an odd excruciatingly painful way. I yelped out in pain and I could see him smiling as he walked back to his office. _

_I laid on the floor, rocking back and forth, curled up in a tight little ball. "It's not true. It's not true." I whispered to myself as it was the only thing keeping me sane._

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"Snap out of it!" I bolted up in a fighting stance and laid my eyes upon Meliorn. I relaxed when I saw it was just him. "You okay?" He asked as I retreated to the rock they call a bed.

"Yeah, fine." My words came out strained and quiet.

"Umm, okay..." He said not really believing me.

Hey what about the rest of the story?" He demanded.

"I'm tired. I tell the rest tomorrow. Goodnight." I said and turned on my side, hiding the tears that streamed down my face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Meliorn put a hand upon my shoulder.

"Yeah, just tired." He mumbled something inaudible before hopping up onto his bed. It wasn't until Fifteen minutes later that I heard loud snores signalling that he was asleep. I began to cry again, I cried for Clary, I cried for myself, I cried about my stupid messed up life. Why do I have to be locked up while Valentine is out there somewhere torturing others. I'm not a monster, I'm just a creation. I tried to stop my urge to hurt others, I tried to continue a good life, like what I had before the accident. But this isn't living. This is surviving. This is not what I wanted this isn't happy,

And this, this is my stupid, sad life. And maybe, maybe Valentine was right I am quite pathetic.

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I hope you enjoyed! I am still unsure if I want to continue with this so please tell me any opinions/ideas! I will try to update next thursday, if not expect one tuesday the 7th.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Thanks for reading

~Divergentdinosaur


	2. Chapter 2

**HAPPY 2014**

**I've had quite a busy holiday so I didn't get to update as soon as I thought. I'll try to update in a week or two, when I have ideas. If you want a sooner update Help me out and read my bottom note please guys.**

**I NEED SOME HELP WITH IDEAS, PLEASE READ MY BOTTOM NOTE.**

**I do not own the Mortal Instruments, Cassandra Clare. **

"Kid get up!" Meliron's voice broke me out of my everlasting nightmares. "Time for breakfast." A guard unlocked our door and leaded us to the kitchen facility. Apparently a guard had to be near us a lot because they expected me to escape. The food, suprisingly wasn't that bad. Better than what I had while in captivity. We were served a simple bowl of oatmeal that looked disgusting but tasted good. Meliron laughed at my suprised expression as I ate the oatmeal. "It looks revolting, but it's good eh?" I smiled, for the first time in quite a while. This place is better than I thought. I can't hurt anyone now. I've seen no girls that triggered up my emotions, yet. I did see a beautiful girl as I walked to the kitchen facility. She smile at me, and to my surprise I didn't attack her. And there are no people that can hurt me. Today Meliron and I didn't really do anything except learn more about each other.

At the end of the long boring day in jail Meliron asked for me to continue my story.

"So, what happened to you when you were missing?"

I didn't know why I was about to tell him this. But around him I felt safe. He was sort of becoming like a brother to me. I felt like I could trust him, and he trusted me.

"Well the man that took me turned out to be my sick twisted father, I was put up for adoption without him knowing and he wanted me back.. So he held me captive and would hurt me or say I was worthless. One day he put snake venom in my veins, not enough to kill me but enough to slowly turn me insane.  
After about six months I started to believe him. I wouldn't cry myself to sleep wishing that someone would save me, I would wish I had never been born, or I'd wished that I'd get more of the punishment that I knew I deserved."

"When I was rescued a little over a year after I was taken I was just a shell of whom I'd once been. My fun outgoing personality was replaced with a Rude, "I don't care" personality. My parents tried to help me. They tried to find the Sebastian they knew and loved, but i had dug myself into too deep of a hole of despair. People would look at me strangely questioning what happened to me with their eyes but i would give them a menancing. Everyone knew that if you tried to talk to me you were dead. The worst thing is, Clary never even noticed me. Even after everything. When I would pass her in halls I would try and manage a smile but she was always looking at her sketchbook. It's not like I blamed her for not seeing me, well who would want to? After a month of trying to get her attention I gave up. Then the venom kicked in." I sucked in a deep breath, then continued.

"I stopped taking part in football and every other thing in school. I didn't talk to anyone and nobody tried to talk to me, if they did I would just brush them off like I did to everyone else. When the time came I had surprisingly made it into college, the exact same one Clary was going to. When I would see her in the halls and I don't know what would come over me. But the next thing I knew the blood would be racing through my veins and I would be attacking her. It pained me to see the fear in her eyes and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop. I felt horrible as i left her lying brokened and bloodied on the floor. I tried to steer my feet towards her and pick her up in my arms and tell her everything would be okay. When I would try I would just pass out and find myself somewhere hours later. " I felt so embarrassed of myself, I wasn't sure if Meliron was the type to judge me or not.

"I lived inside a nightmare. Nobody every caught Valentine, it makes me shiver at the fact that while he's running around terrozing others. He can torture, and turn people into what I am. He can kidnap people and make them believe they're. And i'm stuck in here. I never meant to become this, that's what no one ever understood. It's really not my fault. It's the person that isn't in jail. Valentines. What really is their definition of criminal?"

**This is really short but I'm having writers block... I'm really not sure where to go from here. I really need some help with ideas. I was thinking about having Valentine come back, would you like that? I just don't want this to be like all the other stories out there.**

**Please feel free to Review or PM me if you maybe wanted to see anything in this story. Or Review/PM me if you have any ideas.**

**Thanks**

**~Divergentdinosaur**


	3. Chapter 3

After much consideration I have decided to stop updating this story, the story that I began, I started updating without know where the story would go, i've realized no one was really liking this story so I'm going to take a few months off and rewrite this, I'm really sorry so i'll try to continue this when I get a chance


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